Disney Princesses, ranked by how well they’d survive the real world

WhileWhile princesses only feature in 14 of Disney’s 61 theatrical animated films (and just one of Pixar’s 22), the Disney Princess label has become a worldwide marketing phenomenon, and princess movies often dominate the cultural conversation about Disney animation. That conversation is usually critical — historically, Disney princesses have been derided for everything from setting unrealistic body standards to highlighting uncreative facial design to having a total lack of agency. They’re often dismissed for being held up as a feminine ideal, while still being completely unsatisfying portrayals of women.
All of which makes us wonder: How well would Disney princesses survive if they got yanked into the real world, the way Princess Giselle does in Enchanted? The last 40 years of Disney movies have shifted us from helpless damsels in distress to princeless heroes who fight their own fights, but does that mean these princesses could thrive in contemporary society? The results are all over the map: Some Disney princesses might immediately become successful business magnates, while others would be dead on arrival. So without further ado, let’s find out how every Disney Princess would survive if they got yanked into our world.

(Officially, there are 13 characters in the Disney Princess franchise. But we’d be remiss not to include Frozen’s Anna and Elsa, who only got left off that label because they’re so incredibly popular that Frozen merchandise is its own separate world.)

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